Couples Therapy in Denver Colorado

In-person and online

Rediscover freedom and connection in your relationship

You and your partner struggle to connect and instead find yourselves fighting more frequently.

Do any of these feel familiar?

  • You dread going home at the end of the day because you don’t want to fight with your partner again. You try to avoid them and the “silent treatment” and disconnection gives you anxiety. 

  • You and your partner want to commit to one another and maybe even get married. You think you’ve got a good thing going. Yet, you’d like to do some pre-commitment counseling just to shore up what you have, learn some new ways to relating, and have some conversations you haven’t had yet about sensitive topics.

  • You’ve been having a secret affair that your spouse has discovered. You’re both devastated! You’re afraid it’s over. You didn’t want to hurt your partner and aren’t sure you can ever repair your relationship.

  • Your spouse is having an affair. You’re both devastated! You don’t think you can forgive them for this infidelity… ever. And yet you still love and want to be with them. You wonder about infidelity therapy.

  • Your partner and you have differences in your sexual needs, tastes, and desires. One of you feels rejected from always asking, but not receiving. The other feels guilty for not wanting to be more sexual. You don’t know if you can continue this way.

  • You’ve been with your partner for a while now. You aren’t fighting, but something doesn’t feel right. You want the spark of your past relationship back.

  • You and your partner have started asking one another if you even want to remain together. You’ve spent a long time in this relationship and don’t want to just throw up your hands and give up. Basically you’re wondering, “Should we stay or should we go?” Stay or go?

  • Ever since you’ve had kids your intimate relationship has felt distant. You want to reconnect and strengthen what you have.

Now, it’s spilling over!

It seems like your relationship problems are now spilling over into other parts of your life as well. You can’t concentrate at work. You are more irritable with your toddlers or your older kids tell you that you’re “spaced out.” Home used to feel like a safe place--now you actually avoid coming home. You’ve even started losing sleep because sometimes you’re sleeping on the sofa. It seems when you hang out with friends, all you do is complain about your partner and then that brings on the guilt. You just want to feel love and connection with your partner again. 

You want to feel safe and secure in your relationship.
Couples therapy can help.

Senior black heterosexual couple dances. Man kisses woman on the cheek after couples therapy.

Healing your relationship is the medicine you both need.

Healing the connection you have with your partner can bring positive changes into every other aspect of your lives. You’ll look forward to to seeing your loved one after both challenging and fulfilling days. You’ll rediscover the fun parts of your relationship again, which can energize you both. You’ll be able to use helpful tools to communicate more smoothly with less disruption and fighting.

Parenting with your spouse will go more smoothly once the foundation of of your relationship becomes solid again.

Your children may even change how they are within the family--taking on more positive behaviors and losing some of the challenging ones.

Even when you do have disagreements (most healthy relationships do), you’ll both be able to come back together to heal the disruption to move forward stronger and healthier.

You will both feel more like yourselves again.

What you can expect with me

My clients describe me as non-judgmental and open. I am LGBTQ+, polyamory friendly, and kink-affirming. I find there is no one-size-fits-all therapy. I take cues from my couples (you) and use a variety of techniques to help support you and your partner. As opposed to choosing one single methodology, I mix and match from these modalities based on our goals and your personalities. 

Emotionally focused couples therapy (EFCT)

I may ask you to identify and express your obvious and eventually more vulnerable emotions. We will work to see what past relational patterns have affected how you relate today.  Early in therapy we will create a relational pattern diagram to help you identify this dance when you are in your everyday lives.

Internal family systems (IFS)

This is also known as “Parts work” because we get to know some of the different parts that each person has inside.  Sometimes one part, Shame, for example, becomes really triggered by the other person’s Blame part. In couple therapy we will all three get curious about these loud parts in order to help them feel heard and accepted into the individual person’s system and into the couple’s larger system.

Systemic therapy

All individuals are also part of many different systems with loads of connections such as school, family, work, communities, and even our nation. When I work with couples, I help them understand where they fit into these and how they impact each other. 

Feminist therapy

I help couples uncover where they learned to be a couple. What sort of societal, religious, and gender-based rules are you living within? Do these rules allow you freedom to be your authentic selves? Are there specific gender norms that no longer serve you that we can work to dismantle? If these ideas resonate with you and you’d like to learn more, feel free to reach out.

Are you ready to:

  • Feel deeper connection with your partner

  • Use newly developed tools for better communication with your partner

  • Increase connection and sexual intimacy

  • Have more fun with your partner

  • Heal after an affair and rebuild trust

  • Find the ease in having deep and fun conversations again?

Two white women lean toward one another and laugh during couples therapy.

Areas of expertise

I help couples with:

FAQs

  • This is actually very common. If you decide to move ahead with counseling without your partner we can work individually to better understand your pieces of the dynamic. However, true changes to the couple dynamic are most powerful when both people are in the room. Once you start to see me individually, and your partner decides to come in, I will help you both find a different couple therapist to work with. I am unable to see you individually AND as a couple.

  • The first few sessions we will work to uncover the dynamic that is at play within your relationship. We’ll develop goals that we can all work toward. We’ll also build trust, which is necessary for a successful therapeutic relationship. After that, we’ll dig in and start to work on ways to find changes that work for your dynamic. You may talk, draw, sit in silence, express emotions, and even argue during session. I aim to make our sessions safer than when you argue outside of session so we can slow things down and dig into the feelings that happen during disruption. It can feel a bit scary, but I am there to make sure you and your partner remain safe during these moments.

  • You get to decide! The length of time really depends on the issues, how much work you do outside of session, and many other factors! Research shows an average of 11-15 sessions help many couples see a difference. The total number of sessions is totally up to you and your partner. If you’re seeing changes and you’ve met your goals, we can graduate you to less frequent sessions, or stop altogether.

  • I cannot split my alliance in this way. If after a time seeing you as a couple, you decide to stop couple work and want to continue individually, I can do that. Your partner would have to agree to this, and I wouldn’t be able to see you as a couple again.

Get curious about the problem--reignite your intimate connection.